The Racist of Choice

Last presidential election cycle, I wrote this speech for Joe Biden.

Hey Joe,

I know you have some of the top speech writers available, so the last thing you need is some unknown expat giving you tips on how to win the hearts and minds of not all but a good number of black people who honestly believe even our ancestors who made sacrifices so we could vote, would balk at us contemplating voting for you.

I believe they would insist that our vote be earned and deserved. You have neither earned nor deserve it.

So, please forgive my impertinence, but I have taken the liberty of writing a speech for you. Feel free to get your pros to burnish it. This is the first political speech I've ever written, so it will likely be below the polish you're accustomed to. But heed my words and their spirit because within this speech reside the keys to your victory (assuming your victory depends on black turnout, which for many democratic candidates is generally the case). 

Take this to heart, act on what I've written here, and you will have begun to earn and deserve at least m…