Sign Language

Use your mouth to speak to me

Geezus. I must be stressed.

Been snapping at people lately. Usually I’m much more patient but I just snapped at an elderly coworker for a misdemeanor.

He was offering me an omiyage (souvenir) snack. But instead of saying, “I went to wherever and brought these back. Would you like one?” he dangles the damn thing at me and points at his mouth and smiles to indicate I would enjoy it.

I just looked at him. No response. Just stared daggers.

He must have taken that to mean that even his gaijin-friendly idiot-proof sign language was failing to get across his offer. So he scratched his head trying to think of simpler yet silent way to offer his sweets to me. He couldn’t so he leans over to another Japanese coworker and inquired if she had any ideas how he might pull this off.

(Mind you, I was speaking Japanese to this fuc… person not an hour earlier.)

She took the proffered candy from him and she, having missed his initial overture, proceeded to dangle this thing before me like you might dangle a treat before your prized pooch. But instead of just pointing at her mouth she mimes chewing (just in case I wasn’t sure what I would do with a food placed in my mouth).

I had Enough.

“Would you please just speak to me?” I said in Japanese, and paused. “Is that so hard?? Cuz this shit is annoying! I’m just a foreigner. I’m not hearing impaired, you know.”

I actually hissed “kuso” (shit) and used the word “uzai” which is slang for annoying AF and rarely used in polite company…if ever. They were stunned. Then I pressed rewind in my mind and listened to what I’d said and the tone I’d said it with. And felt guilty…

“Sorry,” I added, bending the truth. “I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

But don’t you know he offered the sweet again and he spoke this time. With words not hands. And apologized for the sign language.

The other teacher didn’t look chastened, though. She was not feeling being called annoying at all.